Self Worth In Light Of Male Sexuality. August 11, 2008
Posted by janey in : self esteem , comments closedWhat makes an individual a REALLY man? Some men find it difficult to pinpoint what it is that makes them different as a member of the male sect. Others have no problem with their identity and may at a very young age be able to identify themselves with their initiated roles and functions in society. Some may have egregious ideas about such roles but by and large such ideas are rooted in their social upbringing and cultural background. While some may identify their self value in terms of their possessions (materialism), others in terms of their background (whether it be educational, lineage - family tree or social status), there are those who focus solely on their sexuality.
For different persons, male sexuality can take on varying forms. Some men feel that the ultimate expression of their self worth is to sire as many progenies with as many women as their possible can. Unfortunately the truth of the matter is that we often find that in western cultures where lack of morality is prevalent in certain sections of society such backward notions are not unusual. The male children of such primitive thinking individuals often find themselves following the same example set by their fathers. Such persons often have little regard for the proper upbringing and careful provision of love and other necessities for the children that they father. As a result societal problems are perpetuated and magnified by the irresponsible behavior of such persons. Then there are responsible men who believe that their self worth is directly linked to their ability to make all necessary provisions available to their family (whether small or large) and such individuals are driven to succeed at all cost to ensure that such an obligation is full satisfied. It is common to that there is much mental anguish and self blame whenever circumstances do not allow them to fulfill that role.
Then there are individuals who feel that their sexuality has everything to do with their potency or ‘machoness ‘during any sexual encounter. Their goal isn’t necessarily to father children but has more to do with sexually impressing their mate. Some focus on the body image (muscular arms, trim abs, large triceps, etc.) to impress their mates and would spend much time trying to attain that image. These individuals often expend much resources on protein shakes and other body building agents. Then there are those whose primary focus is on the penis. Too many men think that having a large, impressive and powerful penis is the quintessence of male sexuality. Those who are less than impressed with their penis size will without hesitation sort after and use the various penis enlargement methods that are out there. Natural penis enhancement pills are a favorite of such individuals and it is common to find that penies enlargement devices are part of their regiment to create the ‘larger impression’ that they looking for. In some cases persons may opt for cosmetic surgery to help bring about quicker changes in the appearance of the penis. Surgical penis enlargement is quite expensive and risky but those who value their male sexuality in relation to their penis size will usually have no problems going under the knife.
Self-confidence and self assurance are usually heightened in men who think that they are fulfilling their innate role in relation to what they value as being significant. Depending on what they value, this sense of fulfillment can be quite uplifting and bring out the very best in other areas of their life. Those who highly esteem their sexuality in terms of physical attributes and appearances are often left depleted and wanting of something extra and of greater value as time, aging and other unforeseen circumstances catch up with them.
Tips To Build- On Self Esteem August 5, 2008
Posted by janey in : self esteem , comments closedIn a nutshell, if we look at it from another perspective, it’s the inability for an individual to have esteem for themselves i.e. to like, to love and to honor themselves. As you are likely aware, an inability to like one’s self often is rooted in feelings of unworthiness and these are rooted in deeper feelings of “being bad”. Going further, feelings (and beliefs) of being bad stem from stored memories of negative events that occurred to you earlier in your life. Such memories are always with you either consciously and more often unconsciously. Their effect apart from contributing to negative feelings about one’s self is that they cause you to, unwittingly sabotage yourself from ever achieving real success in your life. For instance have you ever noticed how, no matter how hard you try; good things always appear to happen to others and not to you? This is no co-incidence, it’s because you may be carrying these negative memories that have literally “programmed” you for failure.
Much of the angst in our culture is because so many women feel unacceptable the way they are. We diet, we control, we lose control, we feel bad about ourselves and we start all over again. The process of change is doomed if the motivation is negative. True change flows when we love and accept ourselves while creating a vision of the life we really want. Here are 5 Keys to creating lasting, joyful change. By keeping your focus on loving, respecting and accepting yourself, your change is sure to flow with grace and ease. 1. Make peace with where you are today * you are exactly where you are supposed to be * spending energy feeling negative is too high a price to pay * big deal if you need to fix anything, put on your ‘I’m a big girl now’ attitude and decide to do it. 2. Make a commitment to doing your personal inner work on a regular basis * Deliberate (intentional, and planned * Diligent (conscientious and meticulous) * Determined (resolved, committed) 3. Decide that you deserve to be happy, and nothing is more important * Joyful change comes from focusing on a positive vision * Nothing is more important than feeling good * Keep your focus on what you want to bring into your life. 4. The easiest way to predict the future is to create it. * Your thoughts create your reality. Choose thoughts that support your vision. * If you always think what you always thought, you will always get what you always got * Make your positive vision for your future your top priority. 5. Identify your stumbling blocks * The best predictor of future behavior is past behavior * Be honest about what usually trips you up * Make a contingency plan to redirect your focus.
People who feel good about themselves are more likely to engage in conduct which is in their own interest, but those who suffer from low self-esteem often see themselves as unlikable and unattractive to others. The development of high self-esteem begins at birth and is heavily influenced by the reactions and responses of other significant. A positive self-esteem is reflected in an upbeat, outgoing personality, while the negative self-esteem often leads to failure, an inability to interact properly with others.
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