Success Pillar 3 - The Gift Of Relationships July 3, 2007
Posted by admin in : success university, personal development , add a commentFrom the desk of Damien Dupont
As a Success University member, every month I receive an audio CD as well as a DVD shipped to me along with SU’s monthly “Success Express” newsletter.
In May 2007, the audio CD included was Jim Rohn’s and Chris Widener’s “Twelve Pillars of Success”.
This is the third of five posts which I am writing, in sequence, as my personal summary and review of the first five pillars of Jim Rohn’s “12 Pillars of Success”. They are set in the same context of Jim and Chris’ story about two fictional characters, Michael and Charlie, whom they use to illustrate the 12 fundamental principles to achieve Success in Life. Their story is also available in novel form.
If you wish to read my review from the first post, just click the following link: Success Pillar 1 was entitled “Work harder on yourself than on your job“.
Now let’s get into Success Pillar 3: The Gift of Relationships…
Our story finds Michael visiting and talking with Charlie as he tends the garden at the Davis estate. Michael has just asked Charlie to share Mr Davis’ third pillar of success with him.
“I’m happy that you asked me about this one Michael, because this garden is the ideal setting for me to share this with you. Mr Davis’ says that the greatest gift that our Creator has given us is the gift of other people”.
Relationships with other people can often be challenging, representing both the breathtaking highs as well as the anguished lows of our lives, but they are also the element that provides joy and meaning to our lives.
As such, Mr Davis third pillar of success is to make the most of the gift of relationships.”
“Relationships are all what we make of them, which is why I said this garden is the best place for us to be discussing this particular pillar.”
“I’m not sure I follow?”, Michael responded.
“Mr Davis says that your family and your love for others must be nurtured as you would tend to a garden. You need to extend time, effort and imagination to keep every relationship that you have with others flourishing and growing”.
“How is your relationship with your wife Amy and the kids?”, Charlie enquired. “Well, when Amy and I were married we were so in love. We had big dreams and were so excited to be creating a life of our own. But I guess as time passed we just fell into life. We got busy trying to make ends meet and raising the kids. We spent less time together and grew distant, and now sometimes I think we wonder who the other person is”.
“Hmm…”, Charlie paused. Momentarily appearing to change the subject, he asked “Michael, how do you like my garden”. “It looks beautiful” Michael replied. “Well thank you Michael. But you know what… it didn’t get that way overnight. I’ve put a lot of work into this garden to remove the weeds and nurture the flowers”.
“The ground that we’re standing on could be one of several things. It could be the beautiful garden you see, or it could be barren dirt, or it could be overgrown with a collection of weeds. Indeed, left to itself, that’s all it would be – a collection of weeds. But because of the ongoing time, effort and creativity that I have put into it, it is the beautiful garden that you see before you today.”
“If you don’t mind me saying so Michael, it sounds as though you might have let some weeds grow in the garden of your relationship with Amy and the kids”. He continued…
“Mr Davis says that relationships are the foundation of our existence. We need to nurture them as best we can. You can achieve any accolade and gather any abundance of wealth and possessions in this life, but if you don’t have real, honest relationships based on integrity with the people in your life, then you won’t ever be truly happy.
Enjoying quality relationships with others who are there when you need them, in good times as in bad, is the true measure of an excellent life.”
“But just like a garden with a few weeds, with a little effort and creativity we can tend to our relationships and turn them into something beautiful and of value. Would you like to regain the closeness and intimacy that you had with Amy back in the early days of your relationship Michael?”.
“Of course I would”, Michael sighed, “I just don’t think it’s as easy as with the analogy you’ve just used Charlie”.
“I’m not saying it’s easy Michael. Life isn’t easy. Success doesn’t come easy. People who follow the easy path in life can do so, but they don’t create much of value in their lives Michael. That which has value is almost always hard to get, that’s why so few people strive for it”.
“Take this garden. It’s beautiful and you said so yourself, but I need to constantly tend to it to keep it that way. But I’m proud of it, it has value for me, and is well worth the small ongoing effort that I need to put in to keep it that way”.
“But if I were to leave it and let it get overgrown and out of hand… then watch out! Then it would really require a heck of a lot of work to get it back into shape. It’s the same thing with relationships”.
“But there is no need to despair. There is a simple plan and three golden principles that you can apply to any relationship to nurture it and get it back in shape, and these are time, effort and creativity”.
“Let’s begin with time. Spend more time with Amy; spend more time with your kids; spend more time with your friends. Life is all about relationships, and the way to build relationships is by giving them time.”
“Sure, but that’s not necessarily easy with my work and other commitments”, Michael retorted.
“Indeed,” Charlie continued, “But it needs to be a priority. That is why effort is required as well. Effort is also required because it’s hard to be around some people at times. I’m sure you can be hard to be around at times, just as I can be hard to be around Michael. None of us are perfect Michael. It’s just a fact of life”.
“It takes effort to set aside the time. It takes effort to deal with other people’s idiosyncrasies and faults. It takes effort – period.”
“You’re not wrong there Charlie”, Michael concurred. “Okay, I got it. So where does creativity fit into this plan?”, Michael asked.
“Creativity means that you need to use your imagination to envision what your relationship with that person could be, and to take the steps that will move you in that direction”.
“One idea could be to take Amy out on a date like you used to when you were still both in college. Or you could decide to plan a vacation for your family so you could all spend some time together. Use your creativity to not only envision a better relationship, but also to come up with activities that you can do together to bring you closer so you can share life’s experiences with each other”.
“Hmm, well yes, I guess I haven’t put too much effort into doing that in recent years. Amy and I kind of take each other for granted”, Michael said.
“And you have the weeds to show for it”, Charlie responded.
“And I think I have a bit of weeding to do just for us to get back on an even keel”, Michael added.
“That’s Ok”, Charlie replied. “Sit down with Amy. Ask her forgiveness and tell her what you want to do. Rout out those weeds and sow some flower seeds and watch them bloom”.
“I sure do appreciate it”, Michael said warmly, looking Charlie in the eye as he extended his hand. “My pleasure”, Charlie responded.
Click the following link to navigate to Jim Rohn’s Fourth Success Pillar: Achieving Your Goals
Postscript: If you wish to read up on all of Jim Rohn’s and Chris Widener’s “Twelve Pillars of Success”, you can get their book. Alternatively, you can join Success University via the following 14 Day $2 Trial offer page.
Jim Rohn is the primary instructor of the Success University Weekly Success Plan. Jim’s comprehensive plan covers personal development, wealth creation, health, leadership, increasing your memory, a speed reading course, and much more.
Jim’s Success Plan also includes the Twelve Pillars of Success, fifty two weekly email trainings, a 500+ page downloadable workbook, as well as 12 monthly conference calls with guests including Zig Ziglar and Loral Langemeier.
Jim Rohn’s Success Plan has a retail value of $1,101, and I cannot recommend it more highly.
I’ll be posting my review of Success Pillar number four shortly.
Warmly,
Whilst this review and excerpt has been relayed in my own words, the Twelve Pillars story is:Copyright © 2006 by Jim Rohn International and Chris Widener International. All rights reserved worldwide.
The Twelve Pillars book is available on Amazon.com via this link
Or…
- Click here for more titles on Amazon.com by Jim Rohn
- Click here for more titles on Amazon.com by Chris Widener
Success Pillar 2 - Live A Life of Total Wellness June 30, 2007
Posted by admin in : success university, personal development , add a commentFrom the desk of Damien Dupont
As a Success University member, every month I receive an audio CD as well as a DVD shipped to me along with SU’s monthly “Success Express” newsletter.
In May 2007, the audio CD included was Jim Rohn’s and Chris Widener’s “Twelve Pillars of Success”.
This is the second of five posts which I am writing, in sequence, as my personal summary and review of the first five pillars of Jim Rohn’s “12 Pillars of Success”. They are set in the same context of Jim and Chris’ story about two fictional characters, Michael and Charlie, whom they use to illustrate the 12 fundamental principles to achieve Success in Life. Their story is also available in novel form.
If you wish to read my review from the first post, just click the following link: Success Pillar 1 was entitled “Work harder on yourself than on your job“.
Now let’s get into Success Pillar 2: Live a Life of Total Wellness…
Three weeks had passed since the day Michael’s car broke down near the estate where Charlie works. Michael knew that he was going to be passing that way again, so he had called Charlie’s workshop number to ask if it was Ok for him to drop in for a chat, something which Charlie had welcomed.
Michael realised that his car breaking down that day had in fact been a blessing in disguise. It had allowed him to catch a glimpse of a life akin to what had once been his own dream, but now seemed so far out of his reach. His dream had been rekindled as a result of his meeting with Charlie, as Charlie shared his encouraging words and revealed some of the principles behind Mr Davis’ success.
Meeting and listening to Charlie that day had been a catalyst for Michael to start to realise that he had let life, its various challenges and the demands on his time to support himself and his family, get the better of him.
He had let himself slip into a rut. Instead of taking responsibility for his own progress and situation, he had allowed himself to settle for mediocrity, and had developed a habit of blaming circumstances for his fate.
Since that day Michael had decided that it was time for him to make some changes in his life, to set some targets for himself and to start to grow again. He had written out ten things the he wanted to change about his life, and that he knew he could achieve if he was disciplined and worked on himself.
He looked at his list everyday now, and tried to make progress on at least one of the items each day. These were only small steps, but they were setting him in the right direction, which was more than he had done for himself for years.
Upon reaching Mr Davis estate, Michael found that the gate had been left open just as Charlie had said it would be. He pulled in the driveway and spotted Charlie working the garden to the right of the house.
He parked his car in one of the spots next to Charlie’s workshop and walked over to him, briefly looking back at the house wondering if he might catch a glimpse of the Davis family.
Charlie greeted him: “Good to see you Michael. You don’t mind if I carry on with the gardening whilst we chat do you?”.
“Not at all” replied Michael. “I have a meeting this afternoon which was going to bring me by your way, so I thought it would be a good opportunity to drop in and say hello. Also, I’ve been thinking about some of the things we spoke about last time”.
Michael continued, “You know… I have come to realise that I have been settling for second best in my life, and that I had kind of given up on my dreams. Seeing Mr Davis’ estate and listening to you talk about some of his principles has made me realise that I can do more with my life, and so I’ve decided to make some changes.”
“Well that’s great to hear Michael. I agree that seeing what others have achieved can be a powerful motivator for us to seek to realise our own dreams”.
“Yes, that’s right Charlie. But in particular, I was really encouraged by your sharing Mr Davis’ first pillar of success. I was wondering if it would be possible for us to get together from time to time, and if you don’t mind, if you could share with me the other eleven pillars of success that you said Mr Davis lives by? I assume you know them off by heart by the way you were talking the other day?”.
“Well heck I’d be happy to do that, and yes I do know them pretty well. But what is just as important as the principles themselves is also the need to implement and take action on what you learn as you go. Have you taken any action on what we shared the other week?”.
“Indeed I have. I wrote out a list of tens things that I want to change about my life, and I’ve started making some inroads into making these changes”.
“That’s great to hear Michael. How much time do you have to spare today?” “I have about 30mins today before I need to get to my next appointment”. “Ok then. I’ll be happy to share the next two of Mr Davis’ pillars with you today then”.
Charlie continued…
“Mr Davis second pillar of success is called Total Wellbeing. Mr Davis is an advocate of what he calls three dimensional health. He believes that we are all made up of three parts: our body, our soul and our spirit”.
“Our soul is comprised of our intellect, our emotions, as well as our will. Our spirit, of course, is the part of us that is eternal and that will transcend this world”.
“Many people tend to focus on improving in just one area of wellbeing, if at all. Some people are focussed on keeping fit and healthy, and will do their best to eat a healthy diet and to exercise most days”.
“Some people are keen learners, always reading and improving their knowledge, but neglecting their physical health. Yet others may be very focussed on their spiritual health, regularly attending church, bible studies and home groups, yet neglecting their physical health or their learning in other areas”.
“Mr Davis believes that all of these three areas of our wellbeing are inter-connected and inter-dependent, and that we need to work on each of these areas to be in balance in order for us to be as effective as possible”.
“Are you looking after all three areas of your wellbeing Michael?”.
Michael looked down at his belly and chuckled: “I could exercise a little bit more, but I think I’m in reasonable shape. As for reading, well… I have to admit I don’t do much of that. Most days after work I like to sit down and watch TV for a few hours to unwind before I go to bed. I guess I watch quite a bit of TV on weekends too”.
“Hmm… well that’s not going to help you too much”, Charlie added light-heartedly. “What about your spiritual life?” Charlie continued.
There was a pause as Michael looked at the ground. “Well, to be honest I don’t do much with that”. Michael was feeling a little bothered. Charlie continued: “Well Mr Davis believes that this is also important; in fact that it should have the highest priority of the three.”
“Mr Davis equates total wellbeing to that of a three layered onion. The central layer is your spiritual wellbeing, with the intermediate layer being your intellect and emotions, and the outer layer being your physical wellbeing. Each layer is only as strong as the layer upon which it rests, and your spiritual layer is at the core”.
“Does this makes sense”, Charlie asked. “Yes it does” Michael responded, “I’m just not sure where to start with that one”. Charlie suggested “What about making a start by revisiting your roots. Did your family have any spiritual background when you were growing up?”.
“Yeah, sure did. My folks used to take us to church every Sunday”.
“Great”, Charlie replied, “Well, why don’t you make a start there, and also read some material that will help build your spiritual life. You could start with the Bible, and include some other books to build on that. How about your physical wellbeing?”.
“Err… well, it’s kind of hard to fit much into my busy schedule”, Michael replied.
“You need to fit in some regular physical activity Michael, even if it’s only thirty minutes a day. Your body needs it, and will reward you for it over the long-term”.
“Exercising regularly will help eliminate toxins from your body, will help you sleep better and will leave you with more energy to get things done. Not including frequent and regular exercise will be counter-productive to your overall progress Michael”.
“Why not suggest to your wife that you both go on a nightly half hour walk? It’s a good way to spend some quality uninterrupted time together at the end of the day, and you’ll both benefit physically!”.
“Mr Davis always says that we need to take good care of our body, because it’s the only place we have to live”.
“I can’t argue with that”, Michael said, glancing down at his watch and realising that he only had 10mins left. He would have liked to have spent more time.
“Charlie, unfortunately I only have about ten minutes before I need to get going for my next appointment. Are you able to share success pillar number three with me today?”.
“I’d be happy to do that”, Charlie responded. “Mr. Davis’ third pillar of success is all about the gift of relationships”.
Click the following link to navigate to Jim Rohn’s Third Success Pillar: The Gift of Relationships
Postscript: If you wish to read up on all of Jim Rohn’s and Chris Widener’s “Twelve Pillars of Success”, you can get their book. Alternatively, you can join Success University via the following 14 Day $2 Trial offer page.
Jim Rohn is the primary instructor of the Success University Weekly Success Plan. Jim’s comprehensive plan covers personal development, wealth creation, health, leadership, increasing your memory, a speed reading course, and much more.
Jim’s Success Plan also includes the Twelve Pillars of Success, fifty two weekly email trainings, a 500+ page downloadable workbook, as well as 12 monthly conference calls with guests including Zig Ziglar and Loral Langemeier.
Jim Rohn’s Success Plan has a retail value of $1,101, and I cannot recommend it more highly.
I’ll be writing up my review of Jim’s third Success Pillar in a few days time.
Warmly,
Whilst this review and excerpt has been relayed in my own words, the Twelve Pillars story is:Copyright © 2006 by Jim Rohn International and Chris Widener International. All rights reserved worldwide.
The Twelve Pillars book is available on Amazon.com via this link
Or…
- Click here for more titles on Amazon.com by Jim Rohn
- Click here for more titles on Amazon.com by Chris Widener
